


See Yourself

by petersfeather



Series: Found Family [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: ...but not today, Angst, Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Dad Hopper, Found Family, Hop adopted Billy, Hop is gonna beat Neil up, Hop is the dad Billy always deserved, Neil sucks, Reckless Billy, bratty billy, canon is shit sorry bout it, mentions of abuse, mentions of self hatred, one day, tell me otherwise!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 02:46:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21292346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petersfeather/pseuds/petersfeather
Summary: "Okay but like how about billy acting reckless like how he use to before he got a family and hopper yelling at him for being reckless and acting stupid and billy yelling back at him “you’re not my dad!” and instantly regretting it and realizing he messed up really bad"---“Cut the crap,Chief, it’s not that serious-”“Itisserious, son-”“Don’t call me that. It’s nothing-”“You’rebleeding-”“Don’t lose your fucking breath over it, I can handle myself!”“Obviously you can’t! Look son, I’m here to make sure you’re alright-”“You’re not my father!”And it cracks both of them.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Jim "Chief" Hopper
Series: Found Family [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534922
Comments: 4
Kudos: 333





	See Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO.
> 
> I have a couple of other series on here, one in which I focus very heavily on Found Family stuff w/ Billy and Hop and El and all of those lovely dears! That was _before_ my blog became people sending in asks requesting me to write stuff.
> 
> and now!! ♥ people are doing that! And it's the sweetest thing! literally the biggest compliment EVER. And I've recently been asked if I could post these little writings of mine all in one place here on AO3 so that people could see everything in one place and follow it, etc! Which is just SO SWEET and I can't believe it ♥
> 
> but I also don't know what I should do! This is all going to be asks that people have sent in and that I've written so that means 1. they're pretty random 2. they're pretty informal! I'm going to go over them and take out as much shorthand as I can as well as maybe add some little things onto the end. But I just don't know if I should just make one story with a shitton of chapters or a series w/ a bunch of fics in it! I'm thinking the latter, but if that gets real irritating, lemme know and I'll cut it out!
> 
> for now though, I guess this is what I'll be doing. I might try to sort things out, like if something has multiple parts, I'll just do chapters for that. We're gonna see. >U<
> 
> but for now, enjoy this!
> 
> Here's the prompt: "Okay but like how about billy acting reckless like how he use to before he got a family and hopper yelling at him for being reckless and acting stupid and billy yelling back at him “you’re not my dad!” and instantly regretting it and realizing he messed up really bad"
> 
> (Title from Owner of a Lonely Heart - Yes)

Billy is a brat like, 24/7 because he loves to be but every now and then, the recklessness comes out again. Because the boy lived with an abuser for the majority of his life and that abuser was someone who was supposed to support him and show him how to grow up to be a good father/man/person. And so every now and then, when the memories come flushing back in and he thinks about all of the horrible things that have been said to him since he was a kid and he thinks about how he was so worthless not even his own _mother_ took him with her when she left… he gets real stupid.

He’ll snag some of the alcohol Hop hides away and take longs pulls off the bottle as he races through the streets. He’ll play chicken with cars going the opposite way on the road. He’ll pick fights with men way bigger than him because getting hit was the only consistent thing in his life at one point and the sudden absence makes his mind spin sometimes.

He does all this shit to prove to himself that Jim Hopper doesn’t actually care about him because ever since he was legally adopted, Hop hasn’t done a _single_ thing to prove that he doesn’t care about him. From day one there was worry in his eyes when he looked at Billy. And it’s confusing and scary and any day now it’s going to go away, Billy just _knows it_, so he’s just trying to quicken up the process. Maybe … maybe he’s even trying to give Jim a _reason_ to quit him and give up because maybe Billy doesn’t want the image of this man tainted in his mind, because it’s the only good male support figure he’s had in his life.

And when Hop finds out Billy is being dumb and reckless again he gets real frustrated. He drives out to pick him up from the station if Billy wants to comply or to pick him up from whatever street he got caught on if he doesn’t. And when Hop goes to pick up Billy one night and sees him drunk and shaking and fucking _bleeding_ and _bruised_ because he went to that damn bar again on the edge of town to pick fights, Hop sees _red_. When they get home (alone because El is spending the night with Max) Billy is shoving at Hop’s chest and egging him on, and when Hop doesn’t budge, Billy tries to walk back out to his car, looking to go out driving some more to clear his head because _fuck this_ his head is spinning from this and Hop is screaming at him about how: “The rules don’t just apply to El, they apply to this whole damn household and one of those rules is _don’t be stupid_ and getting drunk and driving out to pick fights is pretty _fucking_ stupid if you ask me! I don’t know what you think you’re accomplishing here but you’re not gonna get anything good from doing this shit!”

“Cut the crap, _Chief_, it’s not that serious-”

“It _is_ serious, son-”

“_Don’t call me that_. It’s nothing-”

“You’re _bleeding_-”

“Don’t lose your fucking breath over it, I can handle myself!”

“Obviously you can’t! Look son, I’m here to make sure you’re alright-”

“_You’re not my father!_”

And it cracks both of them.

Billy’s head feels like it’s pressure locked. Because _fuck_, he’s doing it. He’s pushing this man away and now as he looks at Hopper, his eyes wide with realization and sadness and maybe even… acceptance? Billy realizes this is the _last_ thing he wants. This man has been so good to him, given Billy no reason to make a fuss, has never laid an ill intended finger on him, is patient when Billy is bratty or rowdy or bitchy. And here he is, reminding this man that he doesn’t need to deal with all of this. He’s not obligated. He can drop him as fast as he picked him up, even if he is his legal guardian now.

And Hopper? Hopper’s heart _aches_. It’s a bitter reminder that _yeah_, this kid isn’t his. Neither of his “kids” are actually his. And the losers and scum bags that he used to go to school with and have since stuck around Hawkins just to become burnouts make him _very_ aware of that when he stops them on his patrol. They make rude, drunken remarks about how his kids aren’t gonna grow up to look anything like him bc they’re _not his_, they’re “strays” and his place is the “dog pound” and it makes Hop want to knock their lights out. He lost the one biological child he had. Some days he worries that adopting Billy and El was just an attempt at filling a hole that’s been dug inside of him.

And after a few moments of pure silence, Hopper nods sagely. His voice low and emotional.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m not your father. I don’t want to be anything like that _asshole_. And maybe… maybe you don’t even want me being your dad. But I’m your _guardian_ and I _chose_ to be because I fucking care. When you’re out and I don’t know where you’ve gone I’m sick because I’m thinking that the phone is gonna ring any second and it’s gonna be Callahan telling me that someone fucking put you out do you _understand_ that? I’m _terrified_. And if you wanna leave when you’re 18, fine. You can leave and you don’t have to think about any of us but _goddamnit_, you’re not just some kid I picked up off the street anymore you’re my _son_ and I’m gonna worry about you till the day I die! You got that?”

And Hop is yelling by the end, warm tears prickling his eyes painfully and Billy’s gonna hyperventilate or something because _he has a dad_.

And it feels so stupid for him to think that now. The more that thought goes through his head, the more idiotic it sounds reverberating in his mind but it's... it's _true_. He had a father for years. His whole life he had a father: a father who yelled and swore and swung like a storm. Like a tornado with Billy at the eye.

For years he had a father. His whole life he had a father.

But he's never had a _dad_.

Never had a dad in the way his friends always have. The kind of dad who supports his son, who stands by him, who cares for his well-being and who _admits_ to that. Who lets him know that.

It's so strange. Billy may never get over it.

But for right now, he has a dad. And if Billy can be a raging bitch and this man _still_ wants to be his dad... then he thinks he's gonna have him for a while.

**Author's Note:**

> yay my heart is sad! I definitely cried when first wrote this.
> 
> You can catch more stuff like this on my blog [@okaybutlikeimagine](https://okaybutlikeimagine.tumblr.com/). My main blog is [@pointeful](https://pointeful.tumblr.com/)
> 
> and then here's this specific post on my blog [right here](https://okaybutlikeimagine.tumblr.com/post/187128586543/okay-but-like-how-about-billy-acting-reckless-like) that you can reblog or whatever if you want! ♥
> 
> hope you guys enjoyed! Thanks so much to everyone for all of the support you've given me. It really makes me so incredibly thrilled, I just can't imagine it most times. I'll be posting these more frequently bc I've already written all this stuff, it's just a matter of getting it all ready to go to put on here.
> 
> anyway, I love you dearly, and I hope you have such a lovely day/evening/night ♥


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